A Mother’s Love

Earlier this week I had the opportunity to travel to Littlefield, Texas to attend the homegoing service of my mother-in-law.  Yes, you read that correctly.  At first, I was apprehensive about the journey due to the status of me and my estranged husband’s relationship…that is for another article.

So, as usual, my +1 Lucy attended with my daughter as well.  So we arrive on Monday and meet up with my new nephews and their families.  They were so warm and inviting.  I know you are like get on with why this article is titled A Mother’s Love.

My Mother’s Love

If you know Nicole then you know Lucy.  When I got the call that my mother-in-law that I had only saw all of 3 times had passed away I called my mom.  In the phone call, I informed her that Sammy’s mom passed away.  Mind you we had just discussed and said we were going to take my daughter Samaria to see her grandmother this summer.  My mother is one of the fairest people I know.  Every ex knows they can stop by her house share their accolades and accomplishments with her all while silently seeking her approval.  As to say “Look Ma I did it”, I’m either livid or find it funny that she is always non-bias.  So it was no issue of her saying yes WE will go and support my daughter’s family in their time of need.  That’s a Mother’s Love! I can go on and on about My mom’s love for me and my children as if their her own.  Grandchildren -No! these little humans feel they have equal access as I.  Again my mother shows my children A Mother’s Love unconditionally and equally.

My Motherly Love

Over the last few days, I have had some time to really think of what my Motherly Love has produced.  Oh Boy, I must say I’m not all too happy about it either.  My Motherly Love has caused my kids to solely lean on me and not the village that God had given them through their father’s family.  Seeing my daughter grieve so hard over the fact that she should have come more to visit; she should have been around more made me have to re-evaluate what my Motherly love has caused for my children.  I look at my oldest son and how his detachment with the Waltons.  In those days my thought was I had something that belonged to them they could reach out they could have done more to get to know my son.  My younger son’s family; the Washingtons were very supportive especially Grandma Hazel so much so I revere her as my other Mother; regardless of the rollercoaster parenting her son and I managed to pull off.  Lastly, my Motherly Love as a protector was so overbearing that I made decisions in Mama Bear mode that has caused my beautiful 15-year-old daughter to feel her father didn’t love her.  When in actuality his love for her/us was so intense it made him overprotective and jealous hearted which later lead to his insecurities of losing his family.  Which caused him to lose his family by covering up those insecurities with being controlling and unhealthy in his dealings with us.  So My Motherly Love thought I was fixing one issue but causing a whole nother crater to deal with later…which is NOW.


Endearing Love of A Mother

In 2015 I drove to Littlefield, Texas for the first time and greet my 90 plus-year-old mother-in-law Geneva Logan with her son who now was going to need constant care.  The conversation went somewhat like this (mind you I did not call or warn her I was coming):

Me:  Hi, I’m Nicole Samaria’s mom; Sam’s umm estranged wife.

(Mrs. Geneva steps to hug me ever so tight with tears of joy)

Mrs. Geneva:  Thank you, Thank you for bringing him home.  I heard he was sick but I did not know how to find him.

Me:  Well here’s your granddaughter Samaria.

Mrs. Geneva:  My she so big….(Samaria is a giant over the Logans; she Hugs her so tight)6

Me:  Are you sure you will be able to handle Sammy; he’s going to need much care (now I’m feeling really bad this phenomenal woman is a feisty 90+, raising great-grandchildren, still working yep working)

Mrs. Geneva:  Yes I can too.

So I’m sharing this to say here is a Mother who knew her son was coming home and soon.  Also, knowing her son’s temperament added with dementia she was still excited to have him home.  Mrs. Logan was a testament of a praying mother.

During the funeral service, everyone spoke of how she raised everyone’s children, literally a pillar of the community.  What I appreciate the most about my encounters with her is that she told me she knew exactly what I had been through with her son without me saying a word and she loved on my daughter when she didn’t have to.  Lastly, she showed how a mother’s love is unconditional, transcendent, and causes a ripple effect you see it in their children, grandchildren, and even great-grandchildren.

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